You can’t pour from an empty cups, goes the idiom.
You wish to be much more social but you hurt easily in small everyday social interactions ? Read this.
There is a flip side to any complaint or interpersonal hurt ! A good one ! Give thanks to those who have stepped on your foot recently, they’ve handed you keys to self love.
Here is an exercice that gets really easy after a couple of trials, and feeld good right away.
Any time you feel someone should act differently for you to feel better, that is when you get the opportunity to love yourself a bit more through inner dialogue and imagination.
- Writte you upset in the form of “X is upsetting me because he puts our plans after everyone else’s everytime he finaly takes time off work “
- turn it around so it is all about you : “I am upsetting myself because I put our plans after everyone else’s everytime he takes time off work “
- Ask yourself: Is there any truth to this ? Stay with the thought and focus on it …. somehow you will oftentimes find that, YES, INDEED, it is kind of true that you do this to yourself or feel this about yourself …
- Why is that ? Focus on the question and your feelings …
- “Because you are not successful enough – because you’re not worthy of being first – because you are fat – because you don’t matter that much – because you’re such a bad person – because you never know what you want” … With varying degrees of brutality and hostility, a little voice of yourself to yourself will at this moment let you know what misaligned belief about you does indeed block the way to putting yourself first.
- What can I give you for you to stop feeling/doing/thinking this from now on ?
- Give without hesitation what this part of you asks from you. You may reply with either words of love and compassion or a big hug if you imagine the little boy or girl that you were behing the little voice … and I mean a warm loving hug …
- All that, until it feels warm in the chest !
Repeat as needed with all upsets arising about your circumstances and people around you. Start with the raging ones, they give out more … you’ll feel immediately energized by the releasing from energy drains that these beliefs have imposed on you !
Hope this helps !
** Thanks to Jeff and Shaleia who have supported my mastery in this exercise !